A realisation and three anecdotes

There was far too much reportage in my last two posts. Apologies. It can be difficult not to when I go on exciting, physical adventures! But now, back to emotional discoveries and meaningful stories.

I realise that Community, with a capital C, isn’t something I can just create. I will find it as I join in, find work, share activities with people...and go to birthday parties. I was at a delightful one this weekend, two nights and a full day at the beach. Yet, I feel unsettled with people I don’t know. It’s flotsam from the many months alone during the pandemic. 

New people can make me anxious, but equally I sense that my untethered year might be disconcerting for them. It’s exotic and unusual, and I don’t fit into a definable slot. So when asked where I’m from or where I live, a certain wariness (or is it weariness?) comes over me. How much do they want to know? Are they really interested or is it out of their comfort zone? 

Rather than spin out my uncommon adventure, I tend to downplay it, figuring people don’t want to hear of my existential questions. But mulling it over now, I think I’m selling myself short. Things out of the ordinary are grist for the story-making mill and I should be celebrating this. Am I concerned that it will sound like bragging? I’ll blame that on my British heritage and move on. 

So here’s my resolution: I am going to take the bolshiness from my misspent youth and combine it with the awareness, experience and wisdom I have now. 

It’s a new year’s resolution made one month before the start of spring. Why not?

Nature’s rumbling tummy

We had an earthquake in the wee hours of Friday night. It measured 5.2 on the Richter Scale, enough to wake me from deep sleep. Weirdly enough, I enjoy them. Costa Rica has lots of shakes, averaging 350 a month, but most are just tremors, often unnoticeable. Friday’s was a middling one; nothing to worry about. The room shook, I was shifted from side to side in my bed for just a few moments, then it subsided. 

I lay awake for a while, initially wondering if it would continue and then, when it didn’t, my thoughts turned to Turkey and Syria, who have just had two more earthquakes. I felt a sense of guilt in my comfortable bed, listening to the howling wind outside. I was reminded to be grateful. I know, it’s an over-used sentiment these days, it makes some people roll their eyes. A number of years ago, I tried writing five things down in a little notebook by my bed. Five things that I was grateful for from that day. It didn’t appear to do anything. Perhaps I’m late to enlightenment, but it feels more real now. I’m older, I’ve seen more of life’s challenges. I do have much to be grateful for, not least this travel opportunity. But also friends, family, physical health, financial stability, the nature surrounding me. Birds. Homemade cake. My girls!

Addendum

The winds have been so strong throughout Costa Rica that no aviation fuel could be landed at the docks in Limon – the country was 24 hours shy of running out before the winds subsided. Can you imagine if the planes couldn’t be refueled after disgorging all the tourists? Chaos. I bet this sort of things goes on behind the scenes in countries around the world, and we never learn about it.

Unexpected moves, of a different kind

I had a 30-year old flirting with me at the beach birthday party on Sunday which, once I got past my astonishment and realised what he was doing, amused me to no end. It wasn’t at all inappropriate, he’s an adult after all, but oh my goodness, so young. The smooth skin, the tattoo on his arm, the wide-eyes and sideways glances! I am not a Cougar, there will be no follow-up on his insinuated suggestions, but it was fun. Flirting is so enjoyable, perhaps I’ll make it my new past time.

Miaow!

And yet another earth-shaking event

On the drive back from the beach in Tomatina, Justine’s feisty red subaru, we were stopped halfway up a curving hill on the two-lane highway parallel to the Pacific Ocean. I was only a dozen cars back, so I could see there was some sort of activity going on. A truck backed up, a man got out. A few other men milled around. Road works, I assumed, turning off the ignition and gazing at the forest on both sides of me. I looked over again, the man was climbing back into the pick-up. Excellent, I thought, let’s go. But the truck only moved forward a few dozen metres before stopping again. Another man appeared and ran, properly ran, towards the pick-up truck, with a real sense of urgency. Two seconds later, a massive tree crashed down across the road. Leaves flew everywhere. Branches snapped. I felt the forest become silent.

It was so unexpected. 

Then one man appeared with a chainsaw, others came with machetes and brooms. It was a road crew. This was an organised act. I watched, amused, as they tidied up. It took a while. For me this was such a Costa Rican experience, and a reminder of the importance of letting go. Shit happens. Unexpected delays occur. Enjoy the interruption (whilst acknowledging that it can be difficult for the chronically late or the people juggling multiple jobs and those who deem themselves too important to be inconvenienced – the same ones who exhale impatiently while in line – but they did pause to let an ambulance and a fire truck through).

So an add-on to my resolution from the first section: I want life to interrupt me, I don’t need to control every moment.  I may be rootless (sin domicilio fijo), but I’m grounded.